Human Again

I've always loved to read. When I was in pre-school, I sat on my bed, surrounded by books, crying because I couldn't read them. Eventually, my love of reading led me to major in English. However, the "read and analyze" part of literature classes was not usually my favorite part.

To me, reading is immensely personal. A good book takes you on a journey--but not one that is necessarily punctuated with literary devices and philosophical criticism. I find myself caught up in a book because I care about the characters, not because the author skillfully uses symbolism.

One of my classes that made the biggest impact on me was actually centered on dramatic literature (a.k.a. plays). The professor would ask us, "What does it mean to be human within the context of this play?" Then, he let us discuss. Even when talking about works such as the seemingly dry Greek tragedy "Antigone," I found myself connecting to the characters in a very real way.

That question still comes to me in unexpected ways. As an Adult Education teacher, I find myself face-to-face with people whose lives couldn't be more different from mine. Yet, if I pause and really ask myself where they are coming from, our humanity brings us onto common ground.

A good book should do just that. You should feel what the characters feel. You should learn what they learn. You take a glimpse inside their lives, and you learn what it means to be human.

Someone once told me that they only read nonfiction because it teaches, while fiction just entertains. I would have to argue that you can learn a great deal from fiction. Hopes, failures, love, and loss make up the pages of our lives as well as a books'. At some point or another, we ask ourselves what it means to be human. Reading books shows us that we're not alone.

Waffles & Spaghetti

Most Olivet alums around my age will remember the infamous "Waffles & Spaghetti" chapel. The theory is that men are like waffles--each part of their life is a square that does not touch another. The work waffle is separate from the family waffle, and so on. Women, on the other hand, are like a plate of spaghetti. Every incident somehow connects. We can start out worried about getting to work on time, and it can snowball into a total meltdown about the state of our marriage. As much as we joked about that topic, I really enjoyed that lesson on the differences between men and women--especially when I realized how perfectly Mike & I fit those stereotypes. It saved me a lot of grief in the early stages of our relationship.

When we first started dating, I would look for any "accidental" run-in with Mike I could manage on campus. Always, Mike would give me a smile and a hug, but I remember being hurt sometimes when he seemed to stop for only a minute and then rush on his way. In my typical "spaghetti" manner, I would take one short incident and weave it together until I'd convinced myself that he didn't like me anymore. Then, a light bulb went off--waffles. Mike was merely in his "class" waffle at the time, and he couldn't just switch to "girlfriend" waffle. That saved us petty fights and hurt feelings in a big way.

Since we've been married, I've noticed our food stereotypes in an even bigger way. Back at that chapel, the wife encouraged all of us ladies to actively take part in whatever our husbands' interest was. If he loves football, watch and learn about football. If he loves cars, go out into the garage with him. For me, that means video games, video games, and more video games.

Even though my generation grew up with game console after game console, I was never really into the XBOX and Playstation scene. In fact, when we got an XBOX, I tolerated it because of Netflix (with a little Guitar Hero thrown in). Then, Mike introduced me to the Legos games. First, came Indiana Jones; then, Harry Potter; followed quickly by Batman. I was hooked! Yes, I know it's a kid's game, but I had fun collecting pieces, punching things into oblivion, and most of all, spending time with my husband.

Mike's newest game acquisition has been Call of Duty: Black Ops. I've watched him play it with my brothers-in-law from both sides of the family, but I was absolutely not interested. First-person shooter/online multiplayer war games are not exactly my thing. Last Saturday, though, I decided to give it a shot.

I was not good. I am a horrible multitasker, so playing with two joysticks can be a little much (aka, I ran into a lot of walls and got stuck in a lot of corners). Somehow, though, I've managed to get it together enough to play on the easiest level. Sometimes, I actually have more kills than deaths! Even my brother-in-law, Matt, was willing to play with me, so I must not be totally awful!

The best part of the experience though? Spending time with my husband in one of his favorite "waffle squares." That makes every moment worthwhile.

Failures of the Dressing Room

Any woman who has ever tried on clothes in a dressing room knows that the harsh lighting often inspires us to buy less clothes than more clothes. There is something about that flourescent glow that makes you want to run and hide...or run to the nearest treadmill and keep running. When will stores learn that we need soft, flattering light if they want us to pay $50 for a sweater that we don't really need? Sometimes, we end up buying the sweater to make ourselves feel better, but more often than not, we end up leaving the store empty-handed and dejected. Failures of the dressing room.

Does anyone else out there ever feel like God turns on his harsh, dressing room-like light and makes you look in the mirror to see what your heart actually looks like? Because I know I've felt that way lately. Rather than walk away without my new, selfish sweater in hand and work on the flaws He shows me, I've been happily buying into the lie and convincing myself that it fits.

But God, I've been here before. I learned my lesson-I swear! Why can't I keep wearing this method of prayer? Why can't I expect it will fit just because it did a year ago?

"Wait for the LORD. Be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." I repeat it like a mantra, and yet I can't seem to get it through my thick skull. I always want to do when I need to just wait. I think that I am doing something helpful and in God's will; in reality, I'm fooling myself. Checking off my to-do list does nothing towards getting me closer to the woman God wants me to be. Pouting and crying that things aren't quite progressing like I thought they should be just makes me a selfish whiner.

So, it's time for me to take another step into the dressing room and let God reveal my flaws-not to make me feel like a failure, but to remind me of His grace and where He wants to take me in the next year. Anybody with me?